Relationships of emotional dependency generate great suffering in the people who suffer from them. Since it is co-dependence (mutual dependence) it is a dependence that feeds back on itself until both parties destroy themselves through the other.
To overcome it, it is important:
1. Framing emotional dependence. You have to keep in mind that what is happening to you is a psychological pathology, and, therefore, it is in the psychological field where it finds its resolution. Trying to heal through personal will is nonsense, as is the case with addictions. Precisely by wanting to solve it “my way” the symptoms of the disease become latent. It’s not that you are like this, but that this happens to you. It is not a personal issue, but it does affect you on a personal level.
2. Start specialized psychological therapy. Putting yourself in the hands of a professional is the beginning of the end of suffering. But when the person is used to suffering, this generates a lot of resistance. If you have learned to live from pain, the tendency will be to believe that this pain is you and that you owe it fidelity. You cannot change a problem with the same mentality that is generating it. In therapy you will be able to contrast your life experience with what, without taking it into account, you tell yourself about yourself.
3. Take responsibility for your own life. Being responsible is not the same as being guilty or being a victim, since those who are available for what there is, do not require consolation. More important than being happy or unhappy is that you are, because from here on, you will not be conditioned by happiness or your emotional state. Getting used to being the important thing is going to take you a while. Little by little, within the framework of therapy, you will discover what the joy of living is.
Conclusions
With all the time I have been working, no one has ever regretted taking the step of starting specialized therapy for emotional dependency. But without a doubt many resistances arise, from the beginning to the end. They will also appear in the relationship that we will establish between you and me, during the course of our therapeutic relationship. Our job is to laboriously recognize them so that they rest in truth and mutual trust. Let’s get to work.
